The Science of Romance: Why We Love

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The last time you had sex, there was arguably not a thought in your head. O.K., if it was very familiar sex with a very familiar partner, the kind that--truth be told--you probably have most of the time, your mind may have wandered off to such decidedly nonerotic matters as balancing your checkbook or planning your week. If it was the kind of sex you shouldn't have been having in the first place--the kind you were regretting even as it was taking place--you might have already been flashing ahead to the likely consequences. But if it was that kind of sex that's the whole reason you took up having sex in the first place--the out-of-breath, out-of-body, can-you-believe-this-is-actually-happening kind of sex--the rational you had probably taken a powder.

Losing our faculties over a matter like sex ought not to make much sense for a species like ours that relies on its wits. A savanna full of predators, after all, was not a place to get distracted. But the lure of losing our faculties is one of the things that makes sex thrilling--and one of the very things that keeps the species going. As far as your genes are concerned, your principal job while you're alive is to conceive offspring, bring them to adulthood and then obligingly die so you don't consume resources better spent on the young. Anything that encourages you to breed now and breed plenty gets that job done.

But mating and the rituals surrounding it make us come unhinged in other ways too, ones that are harder to explain by the mere babymaking imperative. There's the transcendent sense of tenderness you feel toward a person who sparks your interest. There's the sublime feeling of relief and reward when that interest is returned. There are the flowers you buy and the poetry you write and the impulsive trip you make to the other side of the world just so you can spend 48 hours in the presence of a lover who's far away. That's an awful lot of busywork just to get a sperm to meet an egg--if merely getting a sperm to meet an egg is really all that it's about.

"People compose poetry, novels, sitcoms for love," says Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and something of the Queen Mum of romance research. "They live for love, die for love, kill for love. It can be stronger than the drive to stay alive."

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. Keep in mind however, that the words are challenging and difficult, not impossible. Many people choose to give a long distance relationship a try, with the constant curiosity if it was the right decision to make and if it even stands a chance. The truth is, a long distance relationship has just as much a chance of succeeding as any other relationship!

Long Distance Relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other’s lives, care for one another and of course have a love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. On the other hand, a long distance relationship does have its differences as well. It takes away your ability to see each other on a frequent note, as well as the choice of being intimate whenever you desire, not to mention that there would be major trust required. Being unable to spend time together in a physical presence makes it harder to hang on to, but does not spell out doom for your relationship.

The first step is to make an agreement of what your expectations are in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. If the two of you decide to be monogamous, then it is clear that neither of you will be dating anyone else as long as your romantic relationship exists. Being clear about what you both want is extremely important, especially in a long distance relationship, in order to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes. Do not feel afraid to tell your partner what you really need and want from him or her, you deserve the chance to speak from your heart and he or she deserves to know the truth and judge whether they can give it to you.

Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger and unsuccessfulness, just as it would be any other relationship. By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised. Being paranoid and accusing will only grow doubts, insecurity and tension between you and none of those three will help the relationship survive successfully.

Why Does Love Drive People Crazy?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

If you talk to two persons - one who has never felt love, and other who is deeply in love, you will find them talking in a very different way. If you ask a person who has never loved about what he/she felt about the other's talk, the answer will be- crazy!

Is it true? Does love drive one to madness? It may not be madness as understood by psychiatrists, but a madness of emotions. Is that right? Why does love do that? To understand this, we have to explore more about love or romance. Is it friendship? Is it physical attraction? Is it just liking for each other? What is love and what is this relationship all about? Love combines all these and goes much beyond in bonding. Lovers are bonded to each other emotionally and totally. A lover cannot imagine of a life without his/her beloved. A lover will suffer like a fish suffers without water, if he/she is separated from the beloved. Love becomes the whole life. Love gives life. Love becomes the reason of life. Life begins and ends with love. That is love. And that's why people call love mad!

How and why a lover feels like this for one's beloved is beyond any logical explanation. There is no arithmetic sum that can decide this. It is all emotional. And the emotions are so overwhelming that they engulf the whole personality. Why does a flower look lovely to all of us? Why are we attracted by the sight of a beautiful sunset? Why do we love to walk on the beach? Do we know? Can we answer these questions? Our only answer may be that- I feel happy doing it. A lover feels happy, rather so happy in love that it cannot be compared with any other happiness. One forgets one's pains, one's pleasures and one's existence when in love.

Fall in love if you still haven't and feel the madness. You will get a clue to why true lovers are called mad. Send ecards to your beloved, to increase the love between you. Love is a beautiful emotion, and it impacts in a tremendous manner. Enjoy going crazy in love.

5 Ways to Celebrate Your First Anniversary

Monday, February 25, 2008

1. Typically, at a minimum you will either go out to each together or have a quiet dinner at home. You can spend this time together discussing your year together, reminiscing about your wedding day, and discussing plans for your future years together. If you saved your wedding cake, you can defrost it and share it. Or you could have a miniature replica of your wedding cake made for this special day.

2.Some want to celebrate with family and friends. For that a small barbecue party is a perfect idea or even you can treat them with a special dinner out. Get to know what is the favorite dish of your family members and then arrange either a lunch or a dinner. As the reminiscence you can watch a photo album or the video of your first date if you have it recorded.

3.You could also plan an anniversary trip. If you would like to renew your marriage vows, Las Vegas and Hawaii are popular options. The most important thing is that you both find a place you would like to visit and that you have time with each other to enjoy your one-year anniversary celebration. Some couples prefer a beach resort to a tour of Europe. You may like to revisit your honeymoon destination or try something new. You may want to spend a week at your destination or find a place near your residence to head over for a long weekend.

4.Trips sometimes take away so much of expenses. One can simply target to buy a beautiful gift for life time for his or her partner instead of spending the entire money behind a trip. You can buy a nice gifts like a hand bag, dresses or a jewelery for your female partner. Or you can even buy an i pod, a laptop or may be a mobile phone.

5.You can both manage to get holidays on your first anniversary and can cook foods, breakfasts that your partner likes. You can even clean up your rooms and your cupboards, if your partner is continuously requesting you to do so. You can gift him or her some hand made crafts specially designed and made for him or her. You can even surprise him or her with watching favorite films and videos together that you are planning to watch for so long and yet could not manage for your busy schedules.

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Making your Romantic Dreams come True

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Are you having the romantic life you have always wanted…in your imagination? Welcome to the club that has many members who feel and live exactly the way you do! Romance is always simple and carefree when it is being acted out in our imaginations. We can come up with the most unbelievable and breathtaking ideas and play scenes that make the best movies look amateur. The only catch to all this however, is that they are developed in our fantasies and stay there, without ever actually taking place in our real lives. Why is that? Why is it so easy for us to fantasize about the most amazing romances, but can never find such romances that really exist? Does it just not happen? Is there no such thing?romantic dream

No, there is no such thing as a romantic dream come true…until you create its existence. That’s right, you carry the key that will open the magical door to making all of your romantic dreams come true. What did you expect to find out? That someday an invisible wand will be waved over you, miraculously bringing you and your meant to be honey together? Well, if that is what you are counting on and waiting for, prepare to keep on waiting! Do not get the wrong idea here, of course there are situations where two people meet and have an instant connection, but things do not just stop there. Many make a mistake in believing that once they found someone they make a great connection with, everything else will fall into place perfectly and all of their romantic fantasies will come true automatically.

If you want your fantasies to become a reality, then you must introduce them to reality. Our partners are not mind readers, yet we tend to believe they are, expecting them to act out and the things we picture them doing in our imaginations. You do not necessarily have to ask your partner to act a certain way or do a certain thing, but you can introduce your romantic ideas by starting to act them out yourself. This will paint a clear picture for your partner, helping him or her see what kind of romantic personality you have, and what you enjoy. You will also learn more about your partner, because you will see their response to your romantic suggestions, which is why is it extremely important that you do this at the beginning of your dating process, or in the beginning of your relationship. If you do not, you could very well be setting yourself up for deep disappointment.

Kiss Your Mate Day

What a lovely name for a day. A must celebration for those in love. April 28th is Kiss Your Mate Day. And obviously all the readers know what it means. Send ecards full of love messages if you are away with a promise to kiss him or her when you meet. Send an ecard planted with kiss - that will be difficult, but not impossible. And if you are with your mate on 28th April, you know what to do.

Rather than talking about kiss, how about talking of mate? The dictionary defines mate as companion, chum, friend, buddy and so on. In short, some one who is your real good friend. In common parlance, mate refers to a girl friend / boy friend with whom you are in love. Love and kisses obviously go together. A kiss seals the promise of love. But we were speaking about mate, so let us continue. Who do you call your mate? Do you have one? Did you have one? How was your life when you were together? How is your life now, if you have a mate?

Life is heavenly. Life is great. Life is lovely. Life is divine. Life is celestial. Life is marvelous. Life is pleasant. Life is delightful. Life is enchanting. One lives life when one is with one's mate. Am I correct? There is nothing better in life than to have a mate for life with whom we can share everything - all that is good and all that is bad. Many a times, we find that those in love try to hide certain bad things from their mate. A man will find it difficult to tell his mate that he is facing money problems when he is wooing her. Isn't it? Similarly girls will always try to show their best side.

When we call someone a mate, we cross all these limits that we have set for ourselves. We become one heart, one mind in two bodies. Nothing is hidden from each other. All our joys, worries, pleasures and anxieties, our phobias, our pains and our pleasures, we share all with our mate whom we love. Unless we can do that, our love and togetherness will be missing the essential joy that comes out of baring all.

Please kiss your mate on April 28th and make sure that you both become true mates for life with nothing left to hide. Unless you do that, the kiss will miss the purest love. Good Luck.

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Forgiveness Is True Love

Most of the lovers do not forgive their loved ones. They may forgive their sworn enemy, but they may not forgive their lover. Do you agree with me? Why is this so? It should have been exactly reverse. Why, let us discuss.

What is love? What do we understand by loving someone? How is love different than other relationships and emotions? In love, we give our whole mind and heart to our beloved. We try to keep our beloved most comfortable. We take care not to hurt our darling. In love, we care for each other. We are in the mood of giving in love. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else.

If our darling makes a mistake, shall we berate them? Shall we blame them and give them pain? Shall we hold it against them forever? Shall we call them betrayer? If we do all this then it is not
love, but a business relationship. I have given you so much now you give your truth, faithfulness and everything else in return.

In love, we have to forgive. We have to pacify our beloved that mistakes are a way of life and everybody does them. We have to tell them not to worry and we are with them. We have to tell them to stop thinking of what happened and think of good things and try to live life joyously. But a majority of us behaves in reverse. That is our failure. It was never love to begin with. If you believe that you love your darling, please learn forgiving.

How to forgive an Affair and how to move on.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The discovery of an affair will attack you with shock, anger and numbness. No matter what way you choose to react, your surroundings will look the same afterwards because you have not yet started coping with what has transpired. You find that you are suddenly lost due to being caught off guard. You never thought this would happen to you. So when it does, what should you do when this painful truth is revealed and how can you forgive it?

The first thing to do when you find out that your partner has been cheating is to allow your emotions to flow out of your body. Holding your feelings in will only make you feel worse and cause a tremendous amount of stress both physically and mentally. Once you have expressed your instant reaction, you can start thinking more slowly and rationally. You will start examining your relationship, wondering where it went wrong and if it was ever as wonderful as you claimed it to be. You will create a chain of questions that have not yet been answered and will start feeling farther and farther away from getting any of them answered. Everything will be sorted out time, but first thing is first… and that is getting your emotions sorted out.


Once your emotions have been expressed and sorted out, it is important to remember to not give the affair more power over your life than it deserves, even though at the time being, it feels like the end of the world. The fact of the matter is, it is not the end of the world, but has changed your world and the way you look at it, which is understandable. Know that your partner’s affair has nothing to do with his or her love for you, nor does it make you a failure in relationships. What the affair does tell you though, is that there are essential issues that need to be addressed. It is normal to be angry and unable to calmly discuss this with your partner, so let him or her know that (without getting violent or throwing them out of course). Let him or her know that you are deeply hurt and angry that they chose an affair as a way to deal with the issues in your relationship and you are not ready to talk about it just yet.

When you are ready, where do you start? It will be difficult to focus on the discussion if you are torturing yourself with visual thoughts of the cheating act. Make an effort to be strong and avoid the unnecessary painful thoughts that will in no way make you feel better or get your relationship back on track. You know what goes on when two people are intimate, so save yourself the details you already know and spare yourself the hurt. The focus is to find and establish the reasons for the affair and ways you can move on with your lives together, with a new and improved affair proof relationship. Good communication will be the key to your road to recovery, so be sure to ask the right questions, listen with undivided attention and understanding, as well as answering the questions you are asked and finding suitable solutions on how to prevent the same event in the future.

romantic bothing for two

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Gathering essential ingredients...

The next items are not "essential" but will help provide the ultimate bathing experience.

* Start your bath off with a toast for two. Keep your wine or champagne chilled in a bucket nearby.

* Help set the mood with romantic music.

* Use a bath sponge or mit to wash each other.

* Extremely soft towels to dry each other off with when you're done.

* A removable shower head.

* Splurge on a really great shampoo and conditioner. Once again, I recommend Garden Botanika. Their Stimulating Peppermint Treatment conditioner is a special treat all in itself!

While you're bathing...

What you do while you're taking your bath together can mean more than the actual act! With this in mind, here a few ideas of romantic things you can do together. Each suggestion can be modified to be as sensual as you wish.

* Start by taking turns washing each other's head. Make sure to deeply massage their head while doing this.

* Take turns washing each other.

* While you're washing each other, stop and give a few kisses here and there on your partner's body.

* Be comfortable and confident with yourself. There is no wrong or right way to be sensual or romantic. Doing what comes natural to you both is always the best experience.

* Treat your partner as if they are royalty. Spoil them with indulgences. While you're washing your partner, gently give them a sensual massage. Anything you'd absolutely love to have happen to you, do for them.

* When you're done, rinse each other off with your removable shower head or regular shower.

* Take turns drying each other off.

* Complete the moment by having a plate of romantic finger foods and your glasses of wine or champagne ready. Then, while in-between feeding each other, blow dry and brush each other's hair.

* If your romantic bath has taken place in the evening, end the night with a sensual massage or by cuddling together in bed with a romantic movie.

Enriching the experience...

Add a new dimension to your bathing experience by using the following romantic ideas!

* Laminate a love poem or love letter and hide it in the bubbles for your love to find!

* Engrave an invitation to your romantic bath on a heart shaped bar of soap with a toothpick. Leave it out underneath a folded washcloth, somewhere your partner will find.

* Add rose petals to the bath for a romantic touch.

* Enhance your often unused senses by agreeing to not speak to each other the entire time. Communicate instead by touch and emotion.

* Treat your love by getting "his and her's" terry-cloth robes.

* For the ultimate experience, reserve a suite at a luxury hotel nearby that has a whirlpool bath or hot tub for two!

A Valentine’s Day Breakfast In Bed

Breakfast in bed is the kind of pampering that both men and women appreciate. It is a classically romantic thing to do for your love. This Valentine’s Day, you can make their breakfast in bed an extra-special event by adding some unique Valentine sweetness. Choose from the ideas below to start your Valentine's Day off with a perfect breakfast!

Think Hearts.

  • Use large heart-shaped cookie cutters to punch out cookies, biscuits, French toast and waffles (the waffles and toast can be punched out after they are cooked). Use the cookie cutters on a hot grill to pour heart-shaped pancakes (spray the cookie cutters with non-stick spray before you pour in the batter). If you aren’t into cooking, you can always purchase foods from a local bakery or restaurant.
  • Buy heart-shaped extras like pastries or sugar cubes for their coffee (sugar cubes also come shaped as X's and O's).
  • Freeze ice cubes in a heart-shaped ice tray.

Think Pink.

  • Use berries to give your breakfast a Valentine's theme. Freeze raspberries, strawberrys, and/or mint leaves inside ice cubes.
  • Make pink, red, and white drinks like fruit smoothies or a morning blended cocktail! Or simply add any red berries to juice or smoothies.
  • Garnish the plate or drinks with fresh berries. If you remove the green thoroughly from strawberries and cut them in half, they look like little hearts!
  • Cook berries into, or melt pink and red sprinkles on top of pancakes, muffins, or cinnamon rolls to give them color.

Think Special.

  • If they are a tea lover, serve something special like a flowering tea. It is tea wrapped in such a way that when the tea leaves are rehydrated, the leaves and petals unwind to reveal an exotic flower pattern. Make sure to use a clear glass mug so that your love can see it.
  • If they are a coffee lover, treat them to an exotic blend. Using a French press and other unconventional brewing methods can help bring out the flavors for an extra-thoughtful cup of Joe.
  • Use a heart-shaped rock as a paperweight for paper napkins, or use heart-shaped napkin rings for cloth napkins.
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Famous Cigar Lovers Including Groucho Marx and Mark Twain

Sunday, February 10, 2008

As more and more entertainment venues close themselves off to the rich, complicated odor of cigar smoke, perhaps it's time to remind ourselves that some of history's great artists - writers, entertainers, musicians - were not just smokers but cigar lovers. From comedians to social critics, from rockstar pianists to Christian apologists, these luminaries found the taste of cigars to be their eleventh muse.

With his bushy eyebrows, ducklike walk and - yes - that omnipresent cigar, Groucho Marx (1890-1977) was among the most recognizable of American comedians. And with his legendary wit, he remains one of the greatest. Born into a showbiz family (his uncle was a well-known vaudeville performer), Julius Marx - "Groucho" in later life - was already singing onstage by the age of fifteen, both alone and as part of a quintet with his four brothers. After an especially bad performance in Texas, the brothers began cracking jokes to each other onstage; to their surprise, the Texas crowd liked their jokes better than their singing.

The Marx brothers, lower case, became The Marx Brothers. They conquered vaudeville, Broadway, and eventually Hollywood with their rapid-fire comic repartee; their best films include Duck Soup (1933) and A Night at the Opera (1935).
Nobody ever wrote more eloquently about the taste of a good cigar than the popular English author G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936). On the other hand - in a career that spanned 80 books, 200 short stories, 4000 essays, and a scattering of poems and plays - there are few things Chesterton didn't, at some point, write about eloquently. Loved for his religious works, his mystery stories and fantasy novels, his essays, and his social criticism, Chesterton left behind a fan club anyone would envy: Ernest Hemingway, Orson Welles, Franz Kafka, Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Dorothy Day, Mohandas K. Gandhi, and Irish Republican Army leader Michael Collins. Director Ingmar Bergman and novelist/comic creator Neil Gaiman.

Conservative pundits and liberal journalists, literary critics and social activists, Christians (of which Chesterton was one) and others - his influence knows no bounds.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910) was born, and died, when Halley's Comet was in the sky. In the 75 years between those two appearances, he led an appropriately unique, prodigious life, working as a sailor, soldier, publisher, inventor, and lecturer, all the while creating the most unique body of work in American literature. Of course he's best known for the iconic Tom Sawyer (1876) and its infinitely better sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1886), but he could also be, by turns, a brave social critic, a champion of the poor and persecuted, a savagely funny satirist, a genial entertainer, and a devoted family man and friend. He was also devoted to his cigars, rarely appearing without them. The Hungarian composer and pianist (1811-1886) once claimed that "a good Cuban cigar closes the doors to the vulgarities of the world." So, for many listeners, does Liszt's passionately Romantic music.